Mommy Memoirs: Getting back to the basics
Disclaimer: This is really a post that I would rather write in my journal but I'm too lazy to go searching for it. So if you don't want to be bogged down with my dear diary melodramatics, then you might wanna move along. Other wise carry on reading my friend.
For the past few months life has been a little roller coaster-ish for us emotionally, financially, and physically lol. Here's a brief recap.
Nov 2017
- Durango broke down.
- Repaired it.
- Bought a brandused car why keep a car that has discontinued parts?
- Found out about Meche's passing sooo sad
Dec
-Closed on the Vineyard house
-Found out about Lapreal's passing hard hit to the fatu
-Moved in 2 days before Christmas
-Hosted family for Christmas Afele side of the Family
-Hosted Tafiti family like the entire Hawaii clan
Jan 2018
-Find out about Uncle Tusolo's passing
-Emergency C-section
-Baby Metuli in the NICU gained a greater appreciation for NICU nurses and an admiration for parents who have little ones in the NICU....especially first time parents
Feb
-Car gets broken into luckily only the camera and car key was stolen...so we had to cut a new key....fa money! but who steals a car key and doesn't take the car? i'm grateful though!
- Aunty Sese passes away super shocking and super sad news
- still unsure of when Baby will be coming home
- half of our tax return went straight to my student loans yes I'm still paying those off ...irrits
- aaaaanddd on top of alll of that...gas & electric bills from Dec to Jan start rolling in fa bank account
Throughout all of it I'm pregnant oh yay extra hormones!
or recovering from childbirth oh yay trying to get hormones balanced again
and Aljay is trying to hold down the fort with the kalepe krew aka Sally and Viiga
while trying to move forward with his projects art pieces, upcoming art show, freelance jobs
juuuuustt wonderful!
The emotional turbulence, financial obligations, and physical trauma has caused my chocolate addiction to relapse and warranted a few really good crying sessions.
sigh......
I'm pretty sure the one line that repeated daily in my conversations with Aljay was "just take it to the Lord". Which was pretty much all I felt that we could do. Get on our knees and pray for guidance and comfort and strength.
I remember one night I was crying on Aljay's shoulder just trying to find some relief from the stress. I was so worried about everything and just exhausted from trying to be strong.
I was worried about...
- bills, especially Metuli's NICU bill
- trying to stay consistent with pumping so that baby has enough milk
- trying to remember to take my meds so that I can get my blood pressures under control
- trying to give enough time and attention to all our children
- trying to stay positive and focused on the good things
- trying not to give in to the Mom guilt i think NICU Moms get it the worst
- trying to cater to my parents needs
- trying to stay on top of my church calling
- trying to stay on top of things at work
- trying to be attentive when talking with Aljay
And yes I know that focusing on our blessings, giving service, and having an attitude of gratitude can help...trust me...I was always reminding myself how blessed we were and often thought about the people suffering in Syria, world hunger, child trafficking, abuse, war, and countries that are trying to recover from natural disasters.
But sometimes it's hard to get out of your own head...you know what i mean?
The biggest thing weighing on my mind was our finances.
The moment I was admitted to the hospital for delivery was when the burden dropped on me. I was calculating eeeeeverything in my head...the hospital bill, baby's bill (yeah and then I would feel guilty for thinking about it because baby's health is more important than the cost of her NICU bill #momguilt) the mortgage, the trip to Samoa coming up in August (that's 10 grand in plane tickets alone okaaaaa), the monthly bills, and possible unexpected expenses.
BUT....Aljay and I talked and decided that we needed to get back to the basics, without making excuses. Yes we were doing good things...but we needed to do better.
So we decided to get back to the basics....specifically the things that we were slacking most with. For us that means--
We know that if we do these things, we will find success and happiness. It's a matter of making the choice to do it.
And it's not like everything was glum all the time. We had wonderful moments with extended family and with our kids. And we made sure we were fulfilling our obligations to God first- paying tithing, having our family prayers, and attending our church meetings. But it's definitely one of those good, better, best things..so yeah we just need to be better lol have I repeated that enough times?
But anyways.......things will get better. Life will go on. And we will continue to take everything one day at a time. The best times usually follow the hardest times right? So we are definitely looking forward to the future.
God is good.
Up we go.
oh hey i feel so much better now hahhaaha
i need a cookie
For the past few months life has been a little roller coaster-ish for us emotionally, financially, and physically lol. Here's a brief recap.
Nov 2017
- Durango broke down.
- Repaired it.
- Bought a brandused car why keep a car that has discontinued parts?
- Found out about Meche's passing sooo sad
Dec
-Closed on the Vineyard house
-Found out about Lapreal's passing hard hit to the fatu
-Moved in 2 days before Christmas
-Hosted family for Christmas Afele side of the Family
-Hosted Tafiti family like the entire Hawaii clan
Jan 2018
-Find out about Uncle Tusolo's passing
-Emergency C-section
-Baby Metuli in the NICU gained a greater appreciation for NICU nurses and an admiration for parents who have little ones in the NICU....especially first time parents
Feb
-Car gets broken into luckily only the camera and car key was stolen...so we had to cut a new key....fa money! but who steals a car key and doesn't take the car? i'm grateful though!
- Aunty Sese passes away super shocking and super sad news
- still unsure of when Baby will be coming home
- half of our tax return went straight to my student loans yes I'm still paying those off ...irrits
- aaaaanddd on top of alll of that...gas & electric bills from Dec to Jan start rolling in fa bank account
Throughout all of it I'm pregnant oh yay extra hormones!
or recovering from childbirth oh yay trying to get hormones balanced again
and Aljay is trying to hold down the fort with the kalepe krew aka Sally and Viiga
while trying to move forward with his projects art pieces, upcoming art show, freelance jobs
juuuuustt wonderful!
The emotional turbulence, financial obligations, and physical trauma has caused my chocolate addiction to relapse and warranted a few really good crying sessions.
sigh......
I'm pretty sure the one line that repeated daily in my conversations with Aljay was "just take it to the Lord". Which was pretty much all I felt that we could do. Get on our knees and pray for guidance and comfort and strength.
I remember one night I was crying on Aljay's shoulder just trying to find some relief from the stress. I was so worried about everything and just exhausted from trying to be strong.
I was worried about...
- bills, especially Metuli's NICU bill
- trying to stay consistent with pumping so that baby has enough milk
- trying to remember to take my meds so that I can get my blood pressures under control
- trying to give enough time and attention to all our children
- trying to stay positive and focused on the good things
- trying not to give in to the Mom guilt i think NICU Moms get it the worst
- trying to cater to my parents needs
- trying to stay on top of my church calling
- trying to stay on top of things at work
- trying to be attentive when talking with Aljay
And yes I know that focusing on our blessings, giving service, and having an attitude of gratitude can help...trust me...I was always reminding myself how blessed we were and often thought about the people suffering in Syria, world hunger, child trafficking, abuse, war, and countries that are trying to recover from natural disasters.
But sometimes it's hard to get out of your own head...you know what i mean?
The biggest thing weighing on my mind was our finances.
The moment I was admitted to the hospital for delivery was when the burden dropped on me. I was calculating eeeeeverything in my head...the hospital bill, baby's bill (yeah and then I would feel guilty for thinking about it because baby's health is more important than the cost of her NICU bill #momguilt) the mortgage, the trip to Samoa coming up in August (that's 10 grand in plane tickets alone okaaaaa), the monthly bills, and possible unexpected expenses.
BUT....Aljay and I talked and decided that we needed to get back to the basics, without making excuses. Yes we were doing good things...but we needed to do better.
So we decided to get back to the basics....specifically the things that we were slacking most with. For us that means--
- We need to make temple attendance a higher priority.
- We need to get back to reading scriptures with our kids.
- We need to be on time to church.
Aljay alllllllways reminds me that everything is a choice. And for some reason when he reminded me again that night as I was crying on his shoulder, I finally decided to choose faith over fear. And I know that I was only able to make that choice after we both decided to get back to the basics and be better in our efforts.
We know that if we do these things, we will find success and happiness. It's a matter of making the choice to do it.
And it's not like everything was glum all the time. We had wonderful moments with extended family and with our kids. And we made sure we were fulfilling our obligations to God first- paying tithing, having our family prayers, and attending our church meetings. But it's definitely one of those good, better, best things..so yeah we just need to be better lol have I repeated that enough times?
But anyways.......things will get better. Life will go on. And we will continue to take everything one day at a time. The best times usually follow the hardest times right? So we are definitely looking forward to the future.
God is good.
Up we go.
oh hey i feel so much better now hahhaaha
i need a cookie
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