Week full of Firsts

It's been a little over a week since Vi'iga made his early arrival on earth and almost a week since we've been home from the hospital. It has definitely been a week full of firsts for me personally and for our family.

First time recovering from a C section

My initial feelings....

-c section recovery sucks.....compared to the last two babies, this recovery is taking so much longer (so sucks)
-I actually have to rest and cannot walk around too much, clean, do stairs, go outside, have a life lol
-I set myself back by doing tooo much sometimes and then crashing out hard the next day
-hate that my innards feel like they are mushy gushy floating all sorts ways around in my belly (did that even make sense? yeah well I can't really make sense of my abdomen area right now)

on the bright side though.....

-I'm recovering well and feeling stronger and better every day
-I was able to walk around the same day I delivered...yippeee
-stretchmarks aren't that bad...
I think that the tiger stripes/lighting bolts/scribbles that decorated my belly during Sefa's pregnancy stretched again resulting in a lighter colored mark that is less visible this time around....so maybe next kid will bring the zebra stripes back? lol hopefully not!....and there's my "stretch marks with pregnancy theory"
-using the toilet is wayyyy easier this time around...thankkkk gooodness (oh my bad TMI? lucky i never take any pics den)

First time seeing what the incision looks like
-eww grosss
-i couldn't see the incision because its nicely tucked under my bloated yet deflated balloon stomach lol (sorry for the visual)....but my stomach has shrunk enough to be able to peek at the incision and it's not as scary looking as I thought it would look.....just weird to think that I was cut open and a baby was pulled out.

annyywayyysss...moving on

First Time Caring for A Circumcision

Don't worry I won't post any pics lol. Yes that does mean Iosefa is not circumcised. We were supposed to take him to get kipi'd at his six week appointment but yeah I've never been good at keeping to the timeline and so he's never had the procedure done. So we decided...how about he just goes to Samoa and get's to go through the kipi experience with his other cousin LOL It'll be their bonding experience haahah. *io laugh cuz it's not going to hurt me, just them. kalos

Well now that I have this new experience with Vi'iga I have say it's not too different caring for a circumcision. I just had to learn to slap some petro jelly on him and he's good.

And while we're on the subject-- how about this is the first time I've ever pee'd on!!! Sefa NEVER EVER peed on us. Vi'iga on the other hand....oka....I've had to remind myself to cover his sprinkler while changing his diaper before I end up having to change my clothes lol.

ia okay thats all on this subject lol.

First Realization that we have 3 kids now

Like woah.
We have three kids.
We are now a family of five.
Didn't we just get married a few years ago? (yes we still think we're young and are in total denial)

I think Aljay summed it up best when he said "Damn I'm a father of 3!" lol

Taking Mom and Baby for a stroll

#1 Big Sister

Leila and Iosefa LOVE LOVE LOOOVVEEE their new toy lol. They can't get enough of Vi'iga. They make sure he gets his daily dose of five thousand hugs and kisses. They are also super helpers and always ask to carry their brother.

As for me, I thought I had forgotten how to care for a newborn, but those mothering instincts just pop right back into gear somehow. It also helps that Vi'iga is such a good baby.....either that or I'm finally getting something right in the motherhood department lol.

First time My Sister and Her Kids Came to Utah

Candace "surprised" me by flying out to Utah and bringing Uati and Neima!

*Our family sucks at keeping a surprise a surprise..Aljay forgot it was a surprise and Candace can't tell lies...yet we still try lol*

She is so brave I tell ya. She told us that she's never even taken the two of them to the grocery store by herself and there she was flying across the country with a one year old and a four month infant BY HERSELF.....that's what I'm talking about. She's my hero!

On top of that, she was the best nurse ever!
She made sure I didn't walk around or do stairs and made sure I had breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks and water throughout the day. She kept our house clean, made all meals, watched all the kids (that's three toddlers under the age of 5 and an infant), did laundry, all while caring for me at the same time. Yes she is amazing. And to push her into Super Mom and Super Aunty Status she took the kids to the park down the street from our house (and yes they walked) and then brought them all home and had them fed, showered, and napping....okaaaa WINNER!!!!...

At the end of each day that Candace was here I would think of Sis. Dalton's talk where she mentioned the motto "I can do hard things"...yup...sums up Candace. One thing I've learned from my sister is to not think about how hard something may be....just do. Simple as that. I know she would say something along the lines of "uh nooo I just don't think sometimes" lol...but little does she realize how fearless, selfless, and giving she is.

Love my crazy sister.

Saying goodbye at the airport

I wanted to cry my makas out when they left.

First time not having Baby Blues or PostPartum Depression (PPD)

Hmmm...I may have just jinxed myself....

So emotionally I've been doing really well. I don't know if it is because I've had more helping hands during this recovery or if I've just grown to become a mentally and emotionally rock solid individual (wow watta confident guy ay hahah...no but I would like to think it's the latter reason lol) ....but I'm really happy with the emotional aspect of this recovery.

With Leila I had the Baby blues...but that lasted for about 5 minutes lol. I remember being at home (this was maybe after a few days being home) and holding Leila and then just sitting there with tears streaming down my cheeks. I remember thinking "what the heck am I crying about?" Then using the process of elimination I tried to narrow down the possible reasons....i sat there thinking "hmmm..i'm not hungry, not that kind of happy, not mad, not sad...maybe tired?" And then I read through the packet of nifty handouts and information that the hospital gives you and realized I had just caught a minor case of the Baby blues which is totally normal and totally common. But luckily it only lasted for those five minutes and then I was all good.

With Sefa though....oka....PPD hit me hard....I was on an emotional roller coaster where I would feel fine some days and then sad the next. I was super self conscious about my body and at times just felt like a hot blubbery mess. I would switch between the sad "i hate how i look" phase and the over confident "i just had a baby so i don't care what people may think" phase....I always watched for people's facial reactions when they would see me and would often think the worst about what could possibly be going on in their minds. Even when people would joke around or I would joke around about my weight, I would always still feel a saddening sting.
It was hard for Aljay as well. He's never seen like that. Heck I had never even seen me like that (so it didn't help that we were both trying to make sense of what the heck was going on with me). It was weird for him to see me be so sensitive about my weight, take jokes so personally, not be able to bounce back, and throw myself pity parties. My poor husband didn't know what kind of mood I'd be in when he would come home and was always so careful about what kinds of things to say to me. Once I did realize that I was experiencing PPD I had to explain it to him and help him understand that it is a real thing and that as much I like to think I'm super woman...I'm not. I'm SUPER HUMAN hahaha...just kidding...I'm just human.

Anyways....It took some time for me to gain my confidence back and to build some resilience in my back bone. Yet even a year after Sefa was born I still had my moments that challenged those insecure feelings. Those challenges would come especially when people would accidentally ask "so when are you due?" I sometimes could brush it off and jokingly respond "oh I juussst had baby....a year ago lol" but sometimes I would feel that hurtful sting and gently respond "oh no i'm just fat."

Well eventually I got over it and now after baby #3 I'm happy to say that things are looking pretty good for me-- emotionally and mentally that is lol. It has probably helped that for this pregnancy, I've been more consistent in prepping myself mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and maybe physically? (what an optimist) lol....But I think it's more so that I've had tons of help from family- Penny and Lahvjal, Milla and Dan, Candace and her two cutie pies Uati and Neima, Ben and Nina, and now everyone that is coming in for the family reunion. *I'll be posting rreaaaallly soon about all that.

So *fingers still crossed* I'm feeling confident that this will be the first pregnancy that I will be a little more comfortable in my skin and be able to come out unscathed from the baby blues or postpartum depression.

Well that completes most of the big 'firsts' for our family. I'm sure there are more that I'm forgetting about (i think i'm suffering from post pregnancy brain....im so sure theres such a thing).....but I'm tired of trying of working on this one post. lol...

And here are some more pics from the first/secondish week of Vi'iga's life :)